I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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