I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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