the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
