dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
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