Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
