what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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