you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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