marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
