i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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