I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
What did we do last night that was yellow?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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