So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Randomize