How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
