If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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