someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize