you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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