apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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