god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
