see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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