no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize