NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
