Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Randomize