Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
