I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
