one might say we're banned from that church
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Randomize
