I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
