you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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