I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
