Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
