Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
