where am i from again
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
my liver is dry heaving
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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