wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
she told me i tasted like america
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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