PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
