: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
