Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize