Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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