Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
