I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
