Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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