i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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