I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize