On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
My life is pants optional.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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