just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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