so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
