At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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