I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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