white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
