How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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