Is it normal to miss your booty call?
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
