The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
