it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize