Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
