You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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