You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize