Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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