I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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