is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
