If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
