all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
