Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
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