If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
