You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
