Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
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