So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
