Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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